Baby Boomers in Denial regarding Parents aging

To be clear the case in point in the previous post is a fictionalized account of what I experience on a regular basis. Parents are in deep doo doo and their kids just can't face the music. How the Baby Boomer faces the decline and death of their parents leads them to their own mortality. My training and experience tells me this is a deep fear. The bad news is your parents will die even worse news you' re next in line. Not tomorrow or even next week but time does march on. So let's back up to the ailing folks. Yes they are aging and yes they are ailing. They deserve to live fully until they die and at that time deserve a good death.

Baby Boomers in denial regarding parents

We have all heard alot about Baby Boomers who deny their own aging process, 60 is the new 40 and so on. But what I am running in to is Baby Boomers are also denying their PARENTS aging process. Case in point. Son, a lawyer from Washington DC got an emergency call from his father in San Diego. Dad was taken to the hospital and needs son to come out. By the time son got here Dad had been rehydrated and sent home. In Son's eyes things were back to 'normal'. Thank goddness he followed through with the call to Age @ Home and I went out the next day for an assessment. When we sat down to do the assessment Son wanted to excuse himself from the prosess, to 'protect' his parents confidentiality. The folks actually wanted him to stay and hear their story. Through the assessment process I collected info regarding the medical conditions, including names of doctors and prescriptions, dates of hospitalizations, monthly income, eating habits, legal tools such as davanced health care directives and power of attorney, burial plans. insurance such as Medicare. Another important area is Activities of Daily Living such as bathing, dressing, meal prep. Well to make a long story short, turns out that dad has cancer and mom has Alzheimers! more later!

To live until you die

I have been intrigues with this statement for quite a while. Since I help so many elders at the end of their life it is important to preserve, maintain or even invent a quality of life as life comes to a close. Humor is a wonderful life force and one that can be tapped into all along the continuum. Another good method is what my uncle Tom calls 'sharing and caring'. Hugs and kisses and even statements of 'I love you' can infuse life into withered bodies. The point of all this is to reach out, especially to old people and share your lifeforce.

Dementia Care Planning

I have recently been invited to join the Center for Memory and Aging, a neurology practice in Poway, CA. Their focus is evaluation and treatment of memory impairment and cognitive deficits. My role as Geriatric Care Manager will be to along with the team, develop Individualized Dementia Care Plans. The IDCP includes educational material, community resources and caregiver support all customed tailored to each family's needs. I am honored to be working with Dr Ho and his team. For more information go to www.pcndneurology.com

Internet

It's been a couple of days since I last posted. My laptop wireless router is down and am waiting for my 17 year old daughter Nora's boyfriend Stevie, my tech guy, to come over and advise me if I need a new linksys router. I fixed it last time it was on the blink by speaking to a great guy in Mumbai, about a month before the horrible terrorist attacks. At that time he said if the router goes down again I should just get a new one. So I may be off to Best Buys in a few minutes.
In the mean time some fun news: I am speaking on Internet Voice Radio:http://internetvoicesradio.com at 10pm Eastern 7pm Western time on New Years Day. I have been offered 15 minutes free air time to talk about Age @ Home Elder Care Management. The company I own that assists adult children in the care of their aging parents when their work, family or long distance prevents them from being there. It has been years since I have done any radio and then only to be interviewed. With this 'gig' I will be filling the time myself. Who knows if it goes well I may add internet radio host to list of accomplishments, LOL.

Adult kids home for the holidays

Adult kids home for the holidays to visit their aging folks can be in for a shock. Papers piling up, unopened bills, no food in the fridge all these are signs of serious cognitive decline. Sure mom can sound fine over the phone but a visit home reveals the extent of her deterioration. But whats a busy working daughter or son with a family to do? In today' s hard pressed economy, employers may not be willing to grant the extended leave necessary to get mom squared away. First off is finding out what is really going on, the repeat trips to doctors to determine a diagnosis (Alzheimer's disease?), talking about the driving issue, deciding on when and if a move is in the near future? Adult kids need a 21st century solution. Hire a professional geriatric care manager. Get on your computer and surf the web. Look for someone who is a licensed expert and knows local reliable resources. Here in San Diego Age at Home Elder Care Management offers licensed clinical social worker and certified care managers to cut through the red tape and help stabilize a cognitive crisis. If you dread going home because of what you may find, be proactive, go to http://www.ageathome.net/ or http://www.caremanager.org/ and line up a care management assessment now.

timely articles, missed opportunity

I have ben reading some good, timely articles in my local newspapers this week about what to do about mom and dad and also what to do about discharge planning from a hospital. I am sure the reporters research these subjects yet they have failed to mention using a geriatric care manager in either article. I know we are an emerging 21st century professional,but really this is ridiculous. Come on it is soon to be 2009 and reporters need to get with the program. People need 21st century solutions to their problems. For example in the article about helping mom and dad for a long distance adult daughter caregiver, the reporter should have talked about care managers being the local expert on the scene to help mom and advocate for her medical care. For the article on discharges from the hospital with about 24 hour notices, the reporter was remiss in not mentioning the licensed expertise of a care manager to cut through the red tape and advocate for the patient.

Get to speak at meeting

More good news, I am on the agenda to speak at the Scripps Ranch Community Organization this coming Tuesday night at the Scripps Ranch library. I will speak about the Scripps Ranch Elder Care Alliance. I have flyers about the meeting January 22, 2009 to distribute. I was at cousin Gwen's today and she had seen the article in the newsletter and is going to join. She is big in St Gregory' s parish and will put the word out there. One thing that is emerging as an area of concern is that Scripps Ranch has no senior center. Nearby Poway and Mira Mesa do but that involves driving out of the neighborhood. So I am putting this on the list for SRECA.

Scripps Ranch coming together

Getting more response for the Elder Care Alliance. Going to the community meeting on Tuesday night. Hope I can present. I worked up a great flyer that I can copy and distribute and e mail as people start to RSVP. What is striking to me is that after 7 years living here now all of a sudden I am seeing my elderly neighbors, maybe for the first time, really. I know how difficult it can be to stay in your own home and resist the move to assisted living. Our SRECA will help people do just that.

Well, another slow day. I don't like slow days. I like to kep busy, solving problems helping people. Instead I am sitting in front of the TV watching Martha Stewart. I wish the phone would ring. I went to an open house for a law firm that specializes in estate planning yesterday hoping to meet people and connect. Instead it was quiet with a few folks talking one to one. I want so much to be of service and guess it will all work out in the long run.

Alls quiet on the Western Front

Things are quiet today. I went to my office and called a potential client on the phone. Then went to an open house at SCI. The lady I wanted to meet ewas not there so left my card and came home. It has been really slow. I haven't gotten any phone calls lately and I wish I had a new case to start. New cases are great, many issues and many problems to solve. The familes ae grateful to have an advocate for their loved ones and stabilizing an urgent or emergent crisis feels wonderful.

Scripps Ranch Elder Care Alliance

Today I met an enthusiastic young woman named Krstina who saw my article in the Scripps Ranch Newsletter. So now there are 2 members of our group. The good news is she is an entrepreneur and has experience starting up 401K charities, hurray. Bad news is she knows nothing about geriatrics. She is starting up some board and cares in Scripps Ranch though so wants to learn. Also her mother who is 79 lives in Scripps ranch. We will join forces and start this jpourney together.

Entering the blog o sphere

This is my very first blog and I am so excited. Just think I can write about my passion to create circles of trust which provide care to the aging community of San Diego. One of my first projects is to launch the Scripps Ranch Elder Care Alliance. This will bring together those of us who live and work in Scripps Ranch that want to age in place. Many of us grew up in Scripps Ranch, have raised our family here and want nothing more than to remain in our homes as we age. The Scripps Ranch Elder Care Coalition or SRECC welcomes professionals who work with seniors as well as our neighbors over the age of fifty. Our first meeting will be January 22, 2009 7pm at Kathy Randall's Scripps ranch home. please e mail krandallmsw@aim.com for more information.